Man In The Mirror

London Fields # 35
First published Inpress, Melbourne on 24 January 2007
NB: Each column has a name, but these do not appear in print; printed versions may differ slightly to those displayed here

There’s nothing the British love more than a good old natter. And recent events on the fifth series of Celebrity Big Brother have provided fodder for countless conversations and debates, as well as thousands of column inches, both here in the UK and around the world. It has also thrown up a large mirror on some aspects of British society, and the picture isn’t pretty.

CBB5 has been all about humiliation as entertainment, and I’m not just referring to the behaviour of the housemates. On the third day Jade Goody, her boyfriend, and her harridan of a mother arrived in the house, and the "celebrities" were told to act as servants to them. Now Jade was ‘made’ by appearing in the third series of the UK version Big Brother back in 2002. Although she didn’t win, she was probably the most memorable housemate, becoming famous for her sheer ignorance and stupidity.

Which was why it was easy to understand why Towers Of London’s frontman Donny Tourette jumped the fence rather than kow-tow to the three newcomers. Next film director Ken Russell walked after a row with Jade (though perhaps it was also because no one in the house knew who he was anyway) and it was starting to look a bit desperate. Finally Leo Sayer went loco and smashed his way out of the house (because thought he didn’t have any clean underwear) and the future of the show was looking bleak.

Now Jade had been put there for her distinct lack of tact, and on her first day she asked Jermaine Jackson if his brother Michael’s pale skin was because he was mixed race like her. While her lack of propriety and complete misunderstanding of other cultures was guaranteed to cause conflicts, I don’t think anyone saw how far it would go. Jade was certainly the ringleader of the bullying, but in her case I think it was more to do with class than race. Class as in place in society, and in the way one purports oneself.

Was it racist though? There’s little you can say to defend Danielle Lloyd comment of Shilpa "She should fuck off home!". In an attempt at damage limitation, Lloyd’s family issued a statement which contains the following: 'F* off home' is a term frequently used sometimes as an insult and sometimes in a jovial fashion between young people today...’. Yeah, so that’s why Lloyd’s agent included this in her list of DON’Ts for her time in the house: "Don't be racist - show you're bigger than that. If you have a strong opinion about something give your reasons for it."

But the production company has to accept blame as well. Jade’s mum Jackiey was like a real-life Margery Dawes – the character in Little Britain who claims not be able to understand a world said by the Indian woman in her Fat Fighters group. Jackiey claimed that Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty’s name was too difficult, and just referred to her as "The Indian". But when she wasn’t challenged over this behaviour in her post-eviction interview.

The producers could also be accused of demeaning acts and bullying. Such as pumping out Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror as a wake-up song, coincidentally while Jermaine was styling his barnet. Or asking Jermaine to form a Jackson 5 tribute band, replete with afro wigs, and H to form a rival tribute act from his former life in Steps. It was like an experiment to see how much they could get their celebs to piss on their life’s achievements. This near envy was mirrored by Jade when she met someone who made her feel inadequate merely by her easy manner and grace.

So with Jade gone, did the bullying cease? No it just changed targets. The following day saw Kenny Everett sidekick Cleo Rocos relentlessly flirt with Dirk Benedict in a nasty way, for pay him back for a ribald conversation he had earlier in the day about pornography. And she wouldn’t stop, even when he told her on very clear terms that it wasn’t fun. No, her mission was to see if she could get him to ‘crack’.

Yes, there was some racism in the house, and maybe it indicates that under the guise of a more enlightened politically correct society, deeper divides are still in place. But it was more a battle of class, and Shilpa being one of the few to emerge with any. Yet this show is a sad reflection of modern Britain in another way - no one stood up and said, "Stop!". Not the housemates, not "Big Brother", not the producers. Not, that is, until complaints watchdog Ofcom received a record number of complaints. This is the Bystander Britain; you observe but don’t intervene for fear of being dragged in yourself. I suppose the only positive to come out of it all is that it has got people talking, and hopefully thinking about issues of race and bullying.

All except the TV stations it seems. How else could you explain the new series of Shipwrecked which commenced on Sunday, also on Channel 4? One of the castaways is a posh outspoken brat who believes in the British Empire and is all for the return of slavery… Your fifteen minutes awaits!

© James McGalliard 2007