Health Of A Nation

London Fields # 31
First published Inpress, Melbourne on 4 October 2006
NB: Each column has a name, but these do not appear in print; printed versions may differ slightly to those displayed here

Maybe it’s a delayed reaction to the rationing which continued for years after the Second World War, but it seems as if Britain has become a gluttonous nation. This self obsession isn’t only about food – it’s apparently an overall need to consume. In a report published last week, it was revealed that the average amount of debt each Briton had accrued was approximately £3175. This is more than double the European average, and the figure doesn’t include mortgages.

But if only all the gorging greed was financial. As the nation slips into obesity, the messages are getting stronger than the photos on fag packets. The Food4Thought campaign features the slogan What goes into crisps goes into you, accompanied by a picture of a young girl guzzling a five litre bottle of cooking oil. It certainly works, as the image popped into my mind the next time I was standing in the corner shop feeling peckish. It was produced by The British Heart Foundation, whose research shows that nearly a fifth of all children eat two packets of crisps per day. When you link this to a recent report from the Department Of Health predicted that by 2010 there will be more than 12 million obese adults and one million children unless major action is taken, it’s not a pretty picture.

The other week we had the follow-up special to Jamie’s School Dinners. This ended well for Oliver, the fat-tongued Essex bloke who has The Polyphonic Spree as the soundtrack to his supermarket ads, as retiring PM Tony Blair offered him everything he asked for, obviously realising that this can catch more voters than a campaign bus around Britain. Politicians retiring whilst mid-term are a weird concept. Thatcher couldn’t survive the backlash of her Poll Tax, and her loss of leadership followed the familiar pattern of the party game of king of the castle. For me it was a case of “Thank fuck for that, and about time too!” It’ll be interesting to see how it pans out for Blair over the next twelve months; will he be able to leave when he chooses, and will his long-term legacy remain marred by his foreign policy decisions? Yes, I’ve lived through some pivotal political moments here - the riots of 1990, the defeat of Thatcher, the election of Blair, the death of Diana - some of these are most notable for the reactions they inspired.

Yet Steve Irwin’s death, tragic as it was, could not possibly have affected the nation in the same way as Diana’s did here. But like that death, this was perceived as the loss of one of us, and of course it was time for rent-a-quote. You couldn’t have missed the backlash over the comments made by professional shit-stirrer and Aussie expat Germaine Greer in The Guardian. Now I have to confess I hold a soft spot for Germaine – her head-to-heads with Paul Morley on late night arts discussion programme Newsnight Review offer a bit of much needed life to Friday night telly. But I was more disturbed by those opinions proffered in the “official” tribute programme on ITV1. The view of how Australia was struck by the tragedy was given by Jono Coleman and Kathy Lette. Yes, by two Aussies who together have probably lived in the UK longer that Irwin was alive. Yet somehow they feel that they can speak on behalf of the Australian people, so in tune are they with the country and its people today. Lette is really just embarrassing – everything has to be expressed in appalling word plays. And she told the sunscreen joke – stating Steve Irwin would have laughed at it. Maybe, but you’re just not funny Kathy.

Richard Hammond also nearly had his death captured on film. It’s great that SBS have purchased Top Gear - this was a programme which was axed, then underwent a startling reinvention, and picked up a whole new audience in the process. It’s no surprise that it won an International Emmy at the end of last year, and also no surprise that wowsers have linked Hammond’s accident with Irwin’s death to argue that TV is going too far in search of ratings. The truth of the matter is that in this country Hammond is seen as a funny guy, whilst Irwin was a bit of a joke. As traditional racist targets become unacceptable for all but northern club comedians, Aussies are now seen as fair game to assume the role.

But with galahs like Coleman and Lette acting as our cultural representatives, it’s little wonder that even the news crew on BBC radio station Five Live couldn’t help laughing on air at John Howard’s parliamentary tribute to Irwin. The media has also made a lot of mileage out of the ICC’s new anti-racism rules; Pom has been deemed acceptable language in the face of the upcoming Ashes Tour. I suppose it’s just continuing a tradition of friendly rivalry. The recent Cracker had Fitz summarise Australia as “home of skin cancer and Skippy”. But the best response came from Oz comic Adam Hills. When he was asked recently about British life, he couldn’t see what wasn’t to like: “Nothing works and everyone’s miserable”

© James McGalliard 2007