Wednesday 14 June 2006

A Tale Of Two Crosses

London Fields # 27
First published Inpress, Melbourne on 14 June 2006
NB: Each column has a name, but these do not appear in print; printed versions may differ slightly to those displayed here


In this part of the world, seasons don’t gradually merge into one another; rather they sudden bang on your door and announce their presence. Summer arrived without warning last week, putting an end to the litany of how it seemed it was never going to arrive. Of course, the moment the mercury crept past twenty-five, this was replaced by moaning about the heat…

To be fair, this is not entirely unjustified. This country is not built for warm weather, and it’s yet to adjust to climate change bringing ever-warmer days. London itself has only a handful of outdoor pools, and a shortage of green spaces combined with unbroken rows of terraced housing and heavy pollution leaves little fresh air to breathe. Many workplaces lack air conditioning, so toiling in temperatures of 30+ is not uncommon. In fact, while standards for the lowest permitted working temperatures have long been established, there is no such equivalent for hot conditions.

And even though winter went on forever this year, it didn’t rain much, so we’re in the middle of a drought. Now maybe that’s not a drought of Australian proportions, but there is a total hosepipe ban in the South East; meaning that you have to keep running back to the kitchen with a watering can to keep your plants alive.

Londoners are not often seen smiling; you don’t say hello to strangers cutting their hedges – all-in-all you keep to yourself. Yet the whole character of the place changes when the sun comes out. Last weekend I was watching a documentary on the 1989 Summer Of Love, which discussed how the introduction of “E” killed off the football firms’ rivalries as the fans danced with each other, their aggression forgotten.

Coincidentally, every second summer means something else as well – a major international football tournament. It’s a chance to forget about the bigger issues, like bird flu, or changes to retirement age, or nuclear power, even if only for a while. Following the Ashes series, the English have learnt that it is possible to win. The feeling is that, after forty years, this could be their time, but only if we all have faith. Even the humble Mars bar has been repackaged as Believe for the cause.

Seeing St George’s flags flying everywhere really is a thing to behold. This emblem has been used in some disturbing ways by far right groups in the immigration debates; seeing it this way acts as a unifier and reclaims it for all English, not just a scary minority. But you gotta laugh through when you see opposition leader David Cameron showing how green he is by cycling to work (sans helmet), proudly flying his St George's Cross from the back rack. Well, it is more than a little undercut by the fact that he’s followed by his ministerial vehicle, which transports his red boxes to and from the House of Commons…

With the twin British loves of music and football, it’s no surprise that the charts are overridden with football songs, but even with thirty-odd in the fray, no-one could have anticipated that eight out of this week’s Top 40 would be World Cup related. And this Monday came another contender – a rework of Sham 69’s 1978 anthem Hurry Up Harry, imaginatively reworked as Hurry Up England, featuring Jimmy Pursey, produced by Steven Street and featuring Graham Coxon on guitar.

Now this is all well and good until you learn about a group of old punks who got together in Romford Essex under the moniker Motty’s Sheepskin to record a new version of the same Sham 69 classic to tie in with the World Cup and to raise money for a local cancer charity. According to HurryUpEngland.co.uk, the project started way back in March, and when it was finished, they approached Jimmy Pursey for his blessing to release it, and got it. Which is why they were so surprised when a short time later, Virgin Radio announced the forthcoming Pursey re-recording. Saddest of all is that Motty’s version is closer to the style and spirit of the original (and it has better lyrics)!

But back to David Cameron - as the first vaguely electable party head the Tories have had in so long, he is a worry. But showed his true colours last week when he claimed that the music of Tim Westwood’s Saturday night BBC Radio 1’s hip-hop and rap show encouraged the carrying of guns and knives. You’ve got to feel a bit sorry for Tim Westwood – the victim of a drive-by shooting, the real-life inspiration of Ali G, the host of Pimp My Ride UK {“Let’s see what we can do with this Morris Minor”} and now the target of David Cameron.

The same David Cameron who says he’s fan of The “smash every tooth in your head” Smiths, Radiohead and Pulp. Umm, didn’t the cover of You Are The Quarry feature Morrissey dressed as a gangster with a submachine gun? What on earth does he make of Goldie Lookin’ Chain’s Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do? I can’t help but recall one of last year’s comedy treasures, The Thick Of It, where the minister was being pushed to watch his weekly Zeitgeist Tapes so that he could seem to have a clue of what was happening in the lives of Joe Bloggs. Cameron? Yeah - he’s down with it - Fo’ shizzle!


© James McGalliard 2007